0
This is My (Glorious) New Calendar
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Some days email is the worst thing to happen to me. Like on this very day that I’m writing this post – where people just cannot get enough of me. And are looking for every excuse in the world to get one of my not-so-incredible responses – even if it’s just business necessary; actually, almost all of them are. Other days, electronic correspondence is the best thing – or rather second-best thing – that’s happened in weeks. Like when JoAnn sent me a coupon code for a free customizable calendar. Yep, a free online-made calendar from a craft-supply store. No idea why, but sometimes it’s best not to ask questions when great things come along, I’ve decided. (BTW, JoAnn, thanks for the coupon – I’ll be sure to buy an extra skein of yarn (or 12) the next time I walk in. Which will probably be about 10 minutes after […]

Read More
0
This One Time There Was a Dead Mouse in My Car
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

If you’ve never had a dead mouse in your car – or any type of dead animal, really – consider yourself lucky. Like winning-the-lottery-of-not-dealing-with-disgusting-things and being-allowed-to-live-your-life-without-barf-inducing-side-effects lucky. For those non-winners, however, something else good will come your way. And quickly. Going through such a ridiculous, awful, sewageswigging slimball experience is too jumbo jerky to not have a counter. It just can’t. For starters, dead mouse(es) smell terrible. Like, imagine rotting meat terrible, but way worse. Then imagine that smell being blasted into your face, straight up your breathing/smelling airways. And the only option to get a little bit of scent relief is to turn off the heater (somewhat reducing the cooked meat smell), but also freezing in the process. Or, when your windows are fogging up, rolling the windows down, and freezing even more. Because that is the far better option. It’s like that, but every time you get in […]

Read More
0
My Favorite Things: Work Edition
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,

Now that I’m back in an actual swing of working – the holidays are over and my Tuesday work partner left to go work in the real world, lame x infinity – I’m actually getting a crap-ton done. (Don’t look so surprised.) To keep up with my incredible progress, I thought I’d give a solid S/O to all of my shiz. Everything I use on a daily basis. From tea cups to super-long charging cords, here’s my favorite things. And no, you can’t have them.   PaperMate Flair Pens Go ahead and laugh. They’re glorious. And colorful. And in case you are wondering, this is the almost exact set that I have.   Post Its Also colorful. I go through two-plus of these things per day.   EOS Balls Word on the street is that mint’s the fave, though I’ve yet to try it. Other types of Chap Stick are also […]

Read More
0
Here’s My “Resolution”: To Not Wear Pants
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , , , ,

New Year’s Resolutions are dumb. IMO. If you make one, you are dumb. And if you don’t stick to it, you’re even more dumb. If you want to do something better in life, just do it already and quit using waiting on the New Year as an excuse. Also, resolutions are basic as basic comes – barf. So instead of making an obligatory goal, I’m doing something weird. Like usual. Last year it was this nifty list of mugs. This year, I’m nixing pants. Exchanging them for their cozier and butt-huggier counterparts, the legging. On account of me owning so many pairs and them being so comfortable. Also it sounds fun. A type of personal challenge which is also not that much of a challenge. Following the Law To make it interesting (and legal), here are the rules: No laundry. At least for leggings/non-pants. Shirts and undergarments are allowed to […]

Read More
0
Last Week Was Christmas And I’m Lazy/Really Busy
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , ,

As you may or may not know (or care about), I write posts a week in advance. It just seems to run more smoothly that way. And also it gives me seven entire days to stew and laugh (really hard) about whatever nonsense I came up with. Anyway, that schedule means today is Christmas Eve Eve (as in the eve to the 24th, which is also known as the 23rd) and I have thousands of things to do. THOUSANDS, I tell you. And writing this blog isn’t exactly number one on my list right now … or even number four. No offense guys, but there are presents to be knitted and actual paying work to be turned in. And emails to be sent. Showers to be taken. Cookies to be made … you’re getting the picture. So anyway, not sorry for half-assing this. I’ll be back to full-assing just as soon […]

Read More
2
Things That Happen Because of Being From a Small Town
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,

In case the news wasn’t’ already out, I’m from a small town. Like, don’t-need-proof-of-insurance-because-everyone in-the-County-Clerk-office-knows-your-dad-is-an-insurance-salesman small. (Yes that’s happened the past two years while paying my tags.) With a population of 4,334 (according to Wikipedia) and a community where everyone knows everyone … and their corresponding beeswax, my hometown has been the source of a lot of weird shiz over the years. Like the above. Or how there is almost never a line in the post office or bank. No, seriously. How my Aunt and Uncle live directly across the street from my grandparents. (After my cousin and his betrothed purchased their old house.) Or when there was a bomb threat and I picked up my siblings and cousins – all in one stop – from the church they’d been bussed to. Also the time I went to visit my Mom and cousin at their joint place of work, and […]

Read More
0
Sometimes Cops Are Nice And Change Your Tags For You
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Last week I got pulled over. On account of not having my proper tags on my car. It’d been two entire weeks since the new license place had been thrown haphazardly into my trunk. And since stashing Christmas shopping packages a few days prior, I’d forgotten completely about it. I, had, of course asked my dad to do it. Not because I didn’t know how or couldn’t. It was just cold and I didn’t want to. Then forgot. The task slipped Dad, AKA Wonk’s mind too, and there the tag sat. Any word on when the Winchester brothers are getting an updated tag style? You KNOW they can’t get pulled over. Until I got pulled over. By the nicest cop in the whole entire world. He was real gentle about it, didn’t use his sirens and introduced himself all nice. Not like in a grandpa way on account of him […]

Read More