Last week I got pulled over. On account of not having my proper tags on my car. It’d been two entire weeks since the new license place had been thrown haphazardly into my trunk. And since stashing Christmas shopping packages a few days prior, I’d forgotten completely about it. I, had, of course asked my dad to do it. Not because I didn’t know how or couldn’t. It was just cold and I didn’t want to. Then forgot. The task slipped Dad, AKA Wonk’s mind too, and there the tag sat. Any word on when the Winchester brothers are getting an updated tag style? You KNOW they can’t get pulled over. Until I got pulled over. By the nicest cop in the whole entire world. He was real gentle about it, didn’t use his sirens and introduced himself all nice. Not like in a grandpa way on account of him […]
Unless you live where there is miraculously no music (but somehow Internet and therefore blog access), you know who Taylor Swift is. You’ve heard her songs. You’ve seen her vintage-looking outfits … paired with always-red lips. And other things that are specific to the up-and-still-coming artist. Through it all, you’ve likely formed an opinion – either for or against her. Maybe, like me, you just can’t freaking decide – and have gone back and forth about her more times than you’ll admit. When she first popped out of the woodwork, you thought she was pretty alright. Then when she released the exact same album, you didn’t like her as much. Then as she got older and more annoying, you swore off her altogether; you were never ever getting back in her fan group. Could she just get over her dating life already?! Could she write a song that didn’t make me […]
I’m a knitter; I knit for fun. For making things. Also because it’s a productive winter hobby. It’s one of my things and probably my biggest vice. And almost everyone thinks it’s lame. Until I make them something glorious. Then they are thankful for two seconds, but still judge the lameness of it all, like a true arts and crafts coward. And I get it, ok. Sure it’s stereotypically an old lady habit. But it’s also something that can be done 1) inside when it’s cold and snowy 2) to make things – I like doing things that have results and 3) while watching TV. Who wants to just sit when they can sit and watch TV and knit? Besides, I commissioned my first-ever custom Christmas order (that is, to be given to someone who is not me from someone who is not me). If that’s not baller status, then […]
Get ready folks, it’s time for another exciting edition of my favorite search terms. Of all time. Specifically, what people think up and type in order to find Earl and Other Greys. For any SEO newbs, that’s search engine optimization, these terms just mean that, because I have these words somewhere within my site – in whatever context – when people search said phrases, they’re taken to my website. And not only do I show up in their results, but am clicked upon … for a certain number of clicks. [For more info on what I can and can’t see – no I don’t know who’s clicking; I’m not tech savvy enough as those types of capabilities most probably exist – check out this original post.] Meanwhile, I’m looking at these terms nearly every day and LOLing in the process. And just like the original edition of this post, they came […]
Tired of reading about my vacation yet? Too bad. California men are super blunt. Like, let’s-go-get-married-but-not-have-kids-for-two-years blunt. And it’s something to get used to. Not that men “back home” are passive, or even vague, but they at least beat around the bush A LITTLE when they want to [fill in the blank] with you. So as to not scare women off. Like we were skittish cats who need to be approached slowly. So being around all the men who are like, “Let’s bone, yesterday,” comes with a bit of a learning curve. If for nothing else than working on a poker face. The tactic was described to me, by one of them, as a way to pick up women. By being “sarcastic as f*ck.” So they can get closer to their main target, which is ladies, on all levels of classiness. Because it makes us laugh, and then they have an […]
In my 20-odd years, I’m grown a lot of hair. Like, tens of feet worth, probably. Maybe even hundreds. It just grows quickly. It’s also very thick; ponytails offer record-level headaches – that is, until the next trim and thin. (Believe me, balding dudes, if I could share it, I absolutely would.) With winter coming up, it’s kind of like a built-in scarf. And aside from the thousands I spend per year on hairspray and conditioner, I mostly like having it around. On top of my head that is, not so much for everywhere else it ends up. Like, everywhere; my sheets, the shower, and especially the floor. Vacuuming and sweeping calls for record amounts of clean up clean up. As in a cleaning of the devices you are using to clean. My office chair gets lint rolled every few months, calling for multiple sheets of paper. Even my car […]
Seeing as how I never wrote a Halloween post, I’m doing it now. Or maybe I wrote this three months ago and forgot about it – which seems just as plausible. Either way, this blog is about Halloween. Why? It’s a glorious holiday that deserves to be celebrated online just as much as it is IRL. In fact, it’s so glorious that I devote an entire Pandora station to its themes. And I listen to it year round, not exclusively, but whenever the ghoulish mood strikes. Here are some of the pimp-glorious songs they play. Halloween Hootenanny Sally’s Song Ghostbusters Superstition Riboflavin-flavored, Non-carbonated, Polyunsaturated Blood Honorable Mention Thriller (duh) I Put a Spell on You Weird Science The Time Warp Witch Doctor The Munsters (theme song) Love Potion Number Nine (double duh) Or you can just create your own Pandora station, the obvious choice.