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Going Pioneer in All the Good Ways
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It’s getting crunchy up in here. And I like it. The crunchier, the better, I say – just like my peanut butter. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it’s a new-fangled way to talk about being green and/or organic. But just like everything, I only ever want to make my own version of it. I’m not going super hippie and hand-crafting everything. Just some things. There will be no hand-fashioned tampons by moi. And especially not cleaning the carpet with a homemade vacuum. Or not shaving and avoiding store-made clothes. Store-made clothes are the best fitting kinds of them all. But sometimes, I like being super pioneer-y. Like that day, two days ago, when I made homemade fruit roll ups (that are delicious, BTW) and transferred the starter plants into the ground. Then ate man casserole that held more than 2.5 pounds of meat. Or the time I organized all […]

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Vacation is Over, and I Shopped at Wal-Mart on Purpose
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Side note: EoG took an accidental snooze while I was on vacay due to an incompatible plugin, not laziness – look there are even posts! I apologize for our time apart. My time of not working is over. And now it’s time to start working again. In true manic Monday fashion, my first day back came through with an incredible start. Incredible as in unbelievable, not as in good. But before the rant about its terrible-ness, lets start with a sweeping statement about vacation being great. It was a real epic time. A trip from which to measure future trips. Now, complaining: Sunday I got a headache. It started in the morning and ached its way through the day. Off and on. From its feel I knew it was the beginning of a migraine, but was hoping some good sleep would thwart its hold. But seeing as it was almost […]

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Foods I Want to Try This Summer
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I’m somewhat of an adventurous eater. Maybe I’m a little hungry while I’m writing this post. Or I might just need a hard copy of things I’m gearing up to eat on vacation. Probably a little of all of them. But I’m still making this list, so deal with it. The things I want to eat this summer, or at least try: All of this Seafood ALL of it. Homegrown Veggies Don’t mind me while I become a farmer’s market regular. (If you have one that lets you pay on the honor system, I need to know about it.) Chocolate Cake But maybe not all in one sitting. UNSWEET Tea — So Much Tea It’s my main vice. Salads in a Jar Don’t mind me while I get my Pinterest on.   Burgers Burgers with blue cheese, burgers with bacon. Seriously, where is the beef?!

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This Consumer Holds a Grudge/Best Buy Can Go Ahead and Die
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As I often remind anyone who will listen, I don’t shop at Wal-Mart – an anniversary that’s eight years in the making. And though that’s my most vocal boycott, it’s not the only. If someone wrongs me to a certain extent, I’m done giving them business. And that’s the end of it. I’m a Taurus, this bitch can hold a grudge. To date, that means Wal-Mart, a series of local gas stations, and that might be it. Except for Frontier, the airline that’s cheap for a reason. Those a-holes cab burn and die. The first two listings have been around since the mid-00s, which also means that for the past 7ish years, only one company has pissed me off. At least to the point of no return. So congrats to everyone on that, it’s quite the accomplishment. Especially since I’m kind of rude and expect great things out of you. […]

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I’m Going to the South: Here are My Concerns

In honeymoon/vacation-type fashion, Bo and I are taking a trip this summer. An entire two weeks of road traveling, eating fast quick food, and experiencing new things. Or rather, me experiencing the things that he knew for the first decades of his life. Like fresh fish and coastal living, calling shopping carts “buggies” and coozies “huggies.” And other things that don’t exist in Kansas. Alligators. The choice of whether tea comes in sweet or regular. Crawfish – not crawdads. And all the fresh seafood one could ever think of eating. That’s what’s on our agenda. But what if I come back with an accent? Or develop diabetes after a single sip of that ultra-sugared tea? Or call things all of the wrong words until no one knows what I’m talking about? My Yankee ways will confuse everyone, even when they are smart and helpful. Like washing dirty hats in the […]

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I Might be a Tea Addict
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In the midst of my recent move (yes I moved, both addresses and towns, albeit slightly), I was forced on a tea hiatus. Where everything in the entire place was packed – except for my computer, which I am typing on right now, and also Toga, who stayed at Grandma Cork Head and Grandpa Wonk’s. It was there that he played with us uncle brother, Jasper, who is his actual litter mate, for two entire weeks. So long so that he was only mildly excited to see me upon his entrance to the new home. That is, until no one was watching and he slept two millimeters from my face for nights at a time. Anyway, the tea. It was packed up and I could not get to it. But I wanted it. I wanted to taste its deliciousness and benefit from its subtle hints of caffeine. But there were […]

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2015, the Year of “Why Not?”
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In the world of freelance writing, unless you’re doing 10 million things at once, you feel like you’re doing nothing. Like not even one thing. So really it’s lucky that I’ve been doing so many thousands of things every single second of the last month and into this month. And I get it, you don’t want to hear how busy I am. It’s lame. I don’t want to hear how busy you are, or even how busy I should be or have been or could be if I was actually keeping up with my office paperwork. And yet here we are. Sigh. #kindofsorry So if you want to help me get less busy (so I can bless you with more blogs, like Tuesdays used to happen), here’s a list of things you can do. Come cook dinner at my house. Return all of these Amazon packages that came in weird sizes […]

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