Like John Hugges or the heir to Fruit Stripe gum, I’m a huge fan of the 90s. Mindsweeper, matching ruffled socks and scrunchies, Polly Pocket compacts – the kind that would logically only fit into a giant’s pocket – were all my jam. I woke up to Saved by the Bell, spent the day feeding my Tamagotchi, and played hopscotch while singing to my illegally dubbed Mariah Carey cassette tape. (That’s as 90s-saturated as I could make that sentence.)
This da-bomb factor – not being born in the 90s and therefore having a chance to enjoy them – comes in many flavors, including an entire slew of dope movies. If made today, these films would be laughed out of the box office and back into their VHS sleeves. Perhaps the best of all 90s fare, Home Alone, woulmad cause an uproar of concerned parents (yes he’s unsupervised; yes he’s 8, move on). And without it, I wouldn’t be able to say things like:
“Your girlfriend … wolf.” – Macaulay Culkin/Kevin McCallister
“You’re such a disease.” – ginger Pete
And “Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?” – candy-eating Culkin
Consider this hat a Christmas gift from me to moi.
What other movie could have almost an exact script as its sequel (same kid, same forgetful parents, same burglars – although they changed to Sticky Bandits vs. Wet in version II, different city, different old person as hero) and still rake in millions? Non-trick question. The answer is Wayne’s World,* where As come in Ahhs and no-honk guarantees are given standard.
Where would the world be without Babereham Lincoln or yelling “Not” after a perfectly sarcastic statement?
Really, maybe more 90s flicks should have done the same. I’d watch a second Edward Scissorhands (can I get one of those asymmetrical haircuts?), Clueless Part Deux, or Good Burger: Mondo Burger Returns.
This rule does not apply to Beauty and the Beast and the Lion King, which did provide (inferior) sequels, via TV series and movies, respectively. Toy Story gets an Exceeds Expectations.
As for 90s TV shows, they, some day, will get a post of their own; there’s simply too many fly things worth mentioning – cramming them in here would be a triflin’ shame.
*Honorary mention to Ghostbusters and Back to the Future – although I shouldn’t penalize for being made in the 80s.