“The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.” Dean Wormer
About seven years ago, I was introduced to Animal House (thanks, Dad). It was the best movie I’d ever seen.
Ridiculous parties, memorable quotes, and a scenario that isn’t quite conceivable in real life; I was hooked. For those who haven’t yet lived, it’s a college-based movie based on National Lampoon’s magazine. The characters belong to a frat, Delta, in which they are complete party “animals”. There’s fish tanks, broken furniture, high levels of booze, and even higher numbers of illegal (albeit good-spirited) illegal behavior. From seducing the Dean’s wife, to citing Pig’s Knuckle, Arkansas, to not giving a what about the rules, the Deltas really knew how to have fun.
Is the movie realistic? No. Is it awe-tastic? Yes.
The Deltas did Things Like:
- Deliver cadavers to the alumni dinner
- Earn new levels of punishment, such as entire organization school expulsion and double secret probation
- Host bangin’ toga parties.*
- Graduate college in four years with tanked GPAs; Otter even made it to med school.
“Mr. Kroger: two Cs, two Ds, and an F. That’s a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger, you’re at the top of the Delta pledge class.”
- Give each other awesome nicknames: Otter, Boon, D-Day, Pinto, Flounder, and Bluto.
- Hit golf balls at the class buttholes (Neidermeyer)
- Start world-class food fights
- Rank 90% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, an impressive stat for a National Lampoon comedy. (Not that I’m the one ranking them rotten.)
Follow Up Questions
- Like Boston and of the Ozarks, I wonder what makes Faber a college and not a university. Is it an accreditation issue, or do they just choose to be called “college” purely out of name creativity, like Ginnifer Goodwin or Eriq La Salle (though in both accounts I wish they’d stuck with their given spellings … and longer haircuts).
- How was a 13-year-old legally employed? Especially when she doesn’t report tens of dollars in stolen groceries.
- Why did Otter root so hard for Flounder? The blimp portion of “a wimp and a blimp,” he was by far the annoying-est pledge out there.
- Why did multiple sources call Delta “the worst house on campus” when it was clearly the best?
- Finally and most importantly, why isn’t this establishment real? As Liz Lemon would say, “I want to go to there.”
*The Internet tells me, “Toga, toga!” is the 82nd most recognized movie quote in the U.S.; number one is Gone with the Wind’s, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”