I Burned My Teapot and it Ruined My Life
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,
I Burned My Teapot and it Ruined My Life

In case you’re new here, I drink a lot of tea. Hot, cold, or whatever the mood may strike, tea is part of my everyday, hot beverage-loving routine. My main jam is Earl Grey (and blog namesake), but I’ll deviate to fruit flavors, greens, orange peokes, and even breakfast versions every now and again, so long as it’s English. Irish makes me want to puke – the tea, not the peoples; one of my BFFs is a ginger.

Each morning I get up, drink at least one glass of water. (Growing up with a dad who thought water cured everything, you develop an addiction.) Then I fire up the teapot, wait 17 minutes – 16-minute tea and 18-minute tea are underdeveloped and piss, respectively. And then I drink tea all dang day.

Generally that means two rounds from my two-cup pot. Sometimes it’s less, but almost never more. Too much caffeine makes me paranoid and shaky, which I learned while trying to finish off a six-cup pot with my friend Amanda. Neither of us slept for 30+ hours.mary poppins tea party on the ceiling

I’m still working on the logistics of throwing one of these.

Reasons I Tell Myself Tea is a Necessity

  • It’s pretty much my only vice
  • The caffeine only exists in the first batch – I reuse the loose tea and the caffeine steeps out completely after 30-40 seconds. … I think.
  • Pop (or soda, depending on your geographic location) is off my radar.
  • It’s kind of healthy.
  • My desk is 20 feet away from the bathroom, which is ideal for frequent bathroom breaks.
  • Used tea goes into the compost pile so as to not be wasteful.
  • It makes me want to do tea-ish things like eat cucumber sandwiches and say “Cheerio, laddies!”

The Worst Day in Existence

turquoise teapot About a week ago, I accidentally left the burner on after emptying my teapot. The same one I’ve been using since mid-college. Forty-five minutes later I wondered what was on fire and wandered back into the kitchen. The poor teapot was fried. Now, after multiple soakings, bleachings, and toothbrush scrub downs, everything that goes into the pot smells like hot char. I haven’t been brave enough to taste it.

In my lack of fire safety, I’ve ruined my favorite teapot right along with every day since. Infusers are less tasty, teabags are inefficient, and the electric kettle just doesn’t get hot enough.

For more than a week now, I’ve been sucking down gross tea. Which, I’m assuming, is quite similar to a cup of bad coffee soaked in wet leaves.

If you can hear me, Mailman, I will cook you a nice batch of cookies to move it to priority. I need some good tea in my life stat.


And in case you want one of your own:


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