My Big Book of Grievances, Part 1
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My Big Book of Grievances, Part 1

hecklesJust like Mr. Heckles, the mean upstairs neighbor on Friends, I’ve decided to create a list of grievances. Though mine isn’t dated and timed each time a loud Italian comes home with a date, I’m still using it as a medium in which I can complain. (For reference, check out this post on bike racks, the original worst of the worse blog.) So strap in and settle down, folks, it’s grievances time.

When people say “literally” wrong

Between every TV show and celebrity advertising this new trendy word, far too many are using “literally” wrong. Redundant and making the speaker look ill informed, the word was meant to describe actual, not exaggerated events. But for whatever reason, it’s now popular to misuse the word as an updated version of stretching the truth.

For example, saying, “My head literally just exploded,” is impossible; you would be dead. Saying the cat literally has your tongue means you’ve got a mean pet and are likely in need of a doctor visit. And so on.

When I can’t bowl because of league

Bowling alleys are huge. Yet they seem to host three different leagues every night, filling the entire joint. Sometimes I just want to bowl on a Tuesday, guys. Why must the non-leaguers be punished?!Bowling-League-Picture

Dogs at tailgates

Dog lover that I am, a tailgate is no place to bring Fido. He has to be kept on a leash, there are strangers everywhere, and there’s rarely a place to sneak behind a bush. Keep the puppies at home to make everyone’s experience more enjoyable.

Which brings me to my next grievance:

People who don’t make their pets behave

Telling guests to “just push her down” is no way to control your animal. Make the animal behave – even when they’re excited – or put him in another room. The same goes for barking when a doorbell rings; it’s just rude. Next time, I may just have to literally put your dog in its place.


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