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Kansas Weather is Crazy (Part II)
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,
Kansas Weather is Crazy (Part II)

Note: this post is a follow up to last week’s Predicting Weather Patterns is (Almost) Impossible.

drew carey whose line is it anyway kansas weather memeAs I wrote last week, there’s something scientific about farming that links you to the weather. Like, completely. As it’s changing, when it’s changing, and what in the heck is going to happen – everything weather lives deep within the brains of these Earth-working men and women. Apparently, running a plow for a living brings on this type information, probably through telepathy. Which is why The Farmer’s Almanac is the place to go for weather forecast accuracy. Added bonus: they’re right almost all of the time – claiming 80-85%.

As it’s name might suggest, the Farmers’ Almanac gives all type of farming info. But thanks to their non-discrimination, the rest of us can benefit from their deep pools of knowledge. All it takes is a simple Google search and users can know just when to start planning for a flood. The specifics are only available to those who pay, but even general ideals offer serious insight. Users can look up summer’s predictions months earlier and instantly pick out their wardrobe for the next 12 weeks. It also helps decipher garden planting, shovel scheduling, and whether or not it’s time for a new winter coat. (Hint, it’s probably time.)

Weather patterns are determined years in advance, and once printed, never changed. A feat our local weatherpeople have yet to accomplish.

How it Works

Because I’m a researcher/curiosity at heart, I did some Googling as to just how these folks get their weather info so spot-on.

Actually, I wanted to prove my friend, Dr. Cooper, wrong, who said they “looked up weather trends and previous years’ activity and compared.” Nope – if it was that easy, everyone could predict the weather. Lucky for him – because I’d never let it go – I found my answer in just a few Google seconds.

According to the Farmers’ Almanac website, it goes like this:

the farmer's almanac prediction proces

Or in other words, it’s fancy, ancient science.

But it gets even more nuts. There’s only one dude who knows how this works; his alias is “Caleb Weatherbee” and no one knows who he (or she) is, where they live, or really that they actually exist. Listed as the “esteemed weather prognosticator,” the only real thing listed is that Weatherbee lives in the U.S. Which, obviously, makes me want to know WAY more about him/her/them.

comedy glasses, nose, and mustache disguiseIs this really only one person? Do a few people know about different parts and then their info is put together? Are the calculations done by computer or as I picture it, old-timey telescope and giant books of data? What happens if Caleb Weatherbee dies? How long does one hold the position? How do you earn it? What is your cover story? And most importantly, what if I’ve already met him?!

Whether in close proximity or in passing, how much of my life has been a lie because this Almanac guru was forced to shield me from the truth? And what can I do to find a loophole for them to reveal themselves? I’m thinking either becoming the weather version of Robin, testing out every possible email combination, or some type of  blackmailing situation. Not that I’d LIKE to break the law, but sometimes it’s just the best option to uncovering a really awesome secret.

Then again, if I never find out Weatherbee’s true identity, I can use the “their job is top secret” excuse for any strange encounter I’ve ever come across.

To the real Weatherbee, may you keep doing your job with as much accuracy as your predecessors. And, should you retire, know that I would totally read your book.

 

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