There’s something we need to get out of the way: I like parties. I like fun, barbecues, card games; I like dancing and boozing, snacks, finding New York’s hottest club, and I especially like my friends. Which is why, when said partying takes place – to whatever degree – I appreciate not losing them. Unfortunately, that goal has had various levels of success. Before the days of smartphones – or before the days when we were smart enough to make an actual plan – we regularly lost one another. Mostly never on purpose.
But now that we are old and wiser, or at least more versed in our antics, we’ve found almost foolproof ways to keep one another in check. So that, when one of us gets lost, we can locate our missing sheep … and in half the time.
To save hours of confusion the next time you and your friends head to a bar (or a whole slew of them), consider:
Before getting separated, talk about where one might go, who one might run into, and more. And if that sounds too impossible (sometimes we just can’t predict what our intoxicated selves might do), come up with a meeting spot instead. One that’s very specific and that everyone can find. Even the most intoxicated member of the group, assuming you have one.
The Buddy System
Everyone gets a buddy and keeps track of that person. And because it’s only one friend, not all of them, the responsibility level goes way down. Like, record low.
Hand holding, arm yanking, and/or yelling might also be required, but that’s a personal preference.
To 100% … with a backup power supply, if possible. Late nights call for some serious battery draining, whether that be through texting, photo taking, app usage, or whatever else party-you likes to do with a phone. Before heading out, be sure everyone’s mobile is not only on them, but ready for an entire night of escapades.
Get everyone in your group to download a location app, like Find My Friends. It’s a free download and allows you to see exactly where each friend is … even if they aren’t answering your bazillion calls and texts. All it takes is a one-time approval before gaining access to endless updates. And creeping.
Sure, it sounds a little stalker-ish to keep a 24-hour tracking device on your friends, but it can also save lives. Look at the difference it’s made:
Pre Find My Friends
- There was a regular losing of party members
- We got separated on an almost nightly basis … for varying lengths of time.
- Often didn’t know who everyone was with.
- Pledged to meet, then tried to meet but never actually found the entire group. Especially when bars have multiple annexes or stupid names.
- Created titles for each person’s kidnapping, for instance, MIA or Amber Alert, in which the “kidnapping” is “being locationally challenged.”
- Made friends with strangers while tracking one another and/or walking to our place of residence.
- Played with the odds of others’ trustworthiness
Post Find My Friends
- We can easily find one another through crowds due to its pinpoint accuracy.
- Meet up with friends who are chronically late by checking their real-time whereabouts.
- Beat boredom by looking to see what town each friend is in … then texting them about it.
- A male acquaintance lures you to a different bar than all of your friends are attending – which you’re super OK with – and they can easily find you as soon as their car bombs have been pounded.
Change the Rules
Finally, if you still can’t find one another, change the bar rules altogether. All it takes is one round of passing out behind a bathroom stall door to get it (and all of the others) completely removed. On account of the bar not getting sued or locking young ladies in their building overnight. Then they eventually replace them with clear shower curtains for “privacy.” Not only will you talk about this event for the next six years (and every time the group returns to said bar), but the performer will become a legend and a bar-hold name. One that newbies grew to fear as they urinated in a now-public setting.
That same night, in which five girls ended up in four locations, required hours of searching before we were reunited. Time was wasted on calls and missed connections, which, thanks to our years of experience, will never happen again. Or if it does, we can each look at our phones, point out the hovering dot and say, “That bitch is lost.”
This post was inspired by the time and money saving antics of Dollar Shave Club, who ships razors to your door for cheap. (This video is totally worth a watch, IMO). Sign me up already!