It’s been a minute since our last (and first) edition of The Man Basket, for which I’m not going to apologize. Aside from me feeling like a pseudo-skeeve for creating men-focused blogs, I’ve had a hard time finding a guy worthy enough to mention. As soon as I found one who fit the bill, he’d turn out to be a Scientologist … or way too into Chubbies shorts. This time, though, I think we’ve found a solid winner. And surprisingly, another Aaron. It must be all the vowels; who knew they were so subconsciously attractive?
Meet Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, meet The Man Basket. For anyone living in a football-less hole, he’s also known as quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. Which is pretty much my favorite bay.* This hunky, dark-headed man is a powerhouse on the football field and an even bigger powerhouse when it comes to the ladies. (I’m assuming. Because look at him.) If I still had my Dream Phone, I’d totally use it to call him. Just before bedtime while looking at a poster of him that’s strategically hung over my teddy bear-filled daybed.
Any man who can grow even facial hair is winning points in my book, and the fact that he gets paid to play a sport, well that’s just all the better. Really, there has never been a more attractive job. (No, not even Dan Draper’s – though let’s pause to high five over form-fitting suits and martinis.) Especially when it’s a sport that requires full on tackling and launching a pigskin miles into the air. A feat I could replicate in only the wimpiest of comparisons.
Did I mention Mr. Rodgers is teammates with fellow Kansas State alum Jordy Nelson? The same Jordy Nelson whose sister I went to junior and then regular college with? We once had a class together – she showed up on time and prepared while I showed up in sweats and half asleep. I also went to a pasture party on their parents’ land – so in case I haven’t made my point yet, we’re practically BFFs. Or rather, I was better at partying in college than both of them and then they turned into professional athletes. Had I made fewer bar appearances back in the day, I could have made it as a professional backgammon-er. Obviously.
Other theories about my favorite quarterback:
- His job requires travel. I like to travel.
- Dude’s got some cash. Not that I’m trying to butt in on his funds (being a self-sufficient woman is pretty much the best thing I’ve ever done), it’s just nice to know it’s there. Like my spare tire that’s sat in the trunk for five years.
- I could get down real hard with all the cheese up north.
- Mrs. Rodgers has a nice ring to it, amIright? Also I’d get to look at him whenever I wanted. On account of him being legally mine.
- I have two tattoos now – like some kind of tramp – which I’m not sure his clean cut-ness would be into. Also, I might only have one hand soon due to this chronic and relentless itching. (From said tattoo.)
- I am very small; quarterbacks are not.
- Football, though I’m a fan, is not exactly in my immediate vocabulary. Sometimes, like shopping, it’s more about the pants.
So snap the ball and holler some colors and numbers, ya’ll; I’m now officially a huge football fan. My Dad will be so proud.
*Yes, this is a Friends reference.