[pullquote]Inspired by my friend Jess Zimlich at 26 and Not Counting, I’ve decided to compile my very own list of things to accomplish. Or rather, things I already have done in 2014. Like Jess, I’ll explain each point, but with a very EoG-y twist. And way less exercising. [/pullquote]
There’s been little veiling about the life changes brought on by 2014 – new address, new office, new intern to push around and hear an endless supply of jokes from. New year, new activities. And aside from the point of impact, it’s been a real bitchin’ time. One that has caused me to go outside of my comfort zone and into a whole new realm of comforts. Most days have been groovy, neat-o, and an all around rad time. But because there is an exception to every rule, there was that one day that caused an addict-level relapse, which your Mom, Cork Head, said was from the full moon and you say was from continual universe shade, which culminated in an afternoon of tuurrible timing.
BUT it could be worse. While all ^ was happening, my friend who lives up on the hill (no not that hill, the other hill) was laid up with a robot leg restraint on account of her recently fixed meniscus. And was also on blood thinners from a blood clot and calf-numbing pain. And in a hand cast since she broke her hand because she’s obviously cursed. So really, it could have been WAY worse.
(Side note: When I asked said friend about the whereabouts of the Brady Bunch’s Hawaiian bad luck totem, I never really got a straight answer – either because she was not amused or because she actually had it. Probably the second. Maybe her bad luck is rubbing off and I need to not talk to her for two or ten weeks – how long does it take a curse to pass anyway? I’ll keep you posted.)
But instead of being cheesy and telling you how much I’ve grown as a person from these to-be-mentioned changes, let’s skip the boring crap and dive into the meaty parts. The stuff I’ve actually done in 2014 that I’ve never done before.
The Actual List
Not only did I go to yoga class(es) this summer, I got up early to do so. And I did all of the beginning poses, even the one that meant balancing over a Barbie campfire and not getting “burned.” I only sometimes fell over.
Traveling for the Hell of It
Traveling is fun. My job is fun. Why not combine the two more often?
Creating Removable Graffiti
Someone made this awesome cardboard “graffiti” patch that perfectly fit onto my apartment complex’s sign. But it definitely wasn’t me and my two friends, guys, so I don’t know why you keep telling everyone it was. We didn’t have black labs, who camouflaged perfectly into the night, with us. We didn’t duck as cars were driving by, and it didn’t feel like the 7th grade at all. On account of it not being us.
Having a Solid Time at Questionable Concerts
Extra, extra, read all about it!
Using a Found Grill For Multiple Cookouts
Ok, this one was more about timing; I would have done this always.
Not Recycling, On Purpose
Sorry Mother Nature, but after years of sorting out 12 types of plastic, compost, cans, and every other substance that is even remotely recyclable, I’m taking a solid sabbatical. I throw stuff away, even aluminum stuff. Not because it’s easier (though it is easier), but out of spite. It’s only temporary, promise.
I also don’t unplug power cords before leaving the house and definitely don’t adjust the thermostat to conserve energy every time I leave. Because I’m just that out of control.
Done All My Laundry in a Single Load
What have I been doing all these years? This way is SOO much easier.
Gotten a Second Tattoo
Technically not a first, though it was my first time to get a second tattoo. It was by the same lady who did the original, and she was just as terrifying as I remember. She works with her son; they are a mother/son tattooing combo, who I let color me with a needle.
Spending Too Much Money at Target
It’s true this has happened before. But if I pretend it’s the first time it’s like all those dollars weren’t spent, ok?
Joining a Gym
Yep, another link. Whoops.
Gotten a Certain Number of At-Home (Ear) Piercings
Sometimes when it’s Friday and borderline fall weather, you just have to down a glass of wine and let your roommate shove a needle through your ear. While watching Clueless and wearing sweats. Which is the only form of at-home piercings I’ve ever heard of … except the time that we were watching New Girl instead. Then the next day, because you bought an earring that was the wrong size, your other friend holds your head as said roommate shoves it through. And because smiling hurts for two days, you learn your ears move while smiling.
Speaking of Cork Head, when I showed her this ring, which is tiny, BTW, she asked if I was going to get “WALLACE” tattooed across my back. And then she laughed really hard. She thinks she is funny.
So what’s next 2014? Free plane tickets and becoming a billionaire? Tax evasion? Learning to love hot dogs? Getting my CDL and parking semis at the local truck stop? You tell me – I’m 95% on board.