I’m a knitter; I knit for fun. For making things. Also because it’s a productive winter hobby. It’s one of my things and probably my biggest vice.
And almost everyone thinks it’s lame. Until I make them something glorious. Then they are thankful for two seconds, but still judge the lameness of it all, like a true arts and crafts coward.
And I get it, ok. Sure it’s stereotypically an old lady habit. But it’s also something that can be done 1) inside when it’s cold and snowy 2) to make things – I like doing things that have results and 3) while watching TV. Who wants to just sit when they can sit and watch TV and knit?
Now that I’m getting overly defensive on the subject, let’s move on to how I’m starting a knitting cult. Where I’m teaching my friends to knit. And they will like it, they have to. It is now a requirement of my friendship.
My Bitches Be Knittin’
A few Tuesdays* ago, we had our inaugural event. Where my friends and neighbor friend came over to learn a talent they’ve each wished to learn. On account of having seen all the glorious skillz.
We went to JoAnn and bought the necessary supplies, then went over the basics … while listening to some Iggy Pandora. Which is how everyone should learn to knit.
Overall, it went pretty medium. There was a lot of cussing, a lot of fixing things, but mostly a lot of awe about how long knitting takes. Like we should have Molly Weasley-d our needles and let the magic do all the work.
There was one virtual student. One star of the class who did extra homework. One who did all the cussing. And one who was particularly concerned about my frequent musings that “it’ll be fine.” (Also two no-shows and one observer.) But it really WILL be fine. Either their scarves turn out wonderfully, or they turn out terribly, in which case they are free to scream while ripping out each individual stitch and start from scratch.
It’ll probably be somewhere in-between.
My Knitting History: Important Events
- I started knitting in college. After getting a wild hair and working at the college newspaper – which meant long hours of downtime and zero quiet – I wanted a productive hobby. And started YouTubing how it was done. Six-plus years later, there’s been no looking back.
- It’s been pointed out – several times – that Aunt Bethany from the movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation knits. Joke’s on you guys, I have another vowel in my name and have zero nieces or nephews. That and I have yet to wrap my cat into a Christmas present. Nice try though.
- Estate sales are my jam – have purchased many a needle for a quarter or less.
- My grandparents moved, and downsized. Which left me with 50-odd pounds of Grandma’s yarn. Moving, FTW.
So to sum up, since everyone is a hater, this blog exists to tell you you’re wrong. Here’s to making knitting cool. #knittingisbomb
*On Sundays we eat nachos, on Mondays we wear maxi dresses – revised to robes due to seasonal changes – then on Tuesdays, we knit. And of course, on Wednesdays we wear pink.