Most days, I am boring. I work, I work out. Finish chores, make lists of other things that need checked off. I eat, and also sleep, and play with my cat. His litter box gets cleaned in the evenings. Right before I shower and settle into my already-made bed. Of course, fun is had. But in a timely manner – once responsibilities have been taken care of. Bills paid.
But last week, it was one for the books. Crazy shiz was happening every day. I got record amounts of work done. Fun approached haphazardly and without warning. Sickness struck even when there was plenty to be done, which I powered through. Wednesday events happened on a Tuesday, Friday was a whirlwind. Normal Tuesday events didn’t take place at all. It was like I was some sort of college heathen who never knows what day it was. A whopper of February end caps.*
Just how crazy was it?
After months of holding onto a coveted FYIFK shirt, I met my college friend to drop it off. In a Chic-fil-A parking lot. In the cold and dark. Like it was a drug deal that had to be done in the presence of public. So nothing too shady went down, like exchanging goods that neither of us paid for.
But the thing about Chic-fil-A is that it’s the most ridiculous parking lot of all time. It’s tight and curvy, and people have no idea where they’re going. Because they’re driving in a layered maze, but where the walls are very short. On the inside they gain access to one-at-a-time chicken nuggets (if you’re into that kind of thing), and on the out, office supplies and leather boots. A real demographic hopping combination.
My next stop was Olive Garden. (On a Monday – who did I think I was? Some type of Monday Olive Garden goer?) It’s about 100 yards from Chic-fil-a. But because of more terrible engineering, it took me a good seven minutes, two stop signs, one stop light (red, of course), and a roundabout to get there. It also reminded me to never make the transition between the two restaurants again. For the next time I want fast chicken and then slow noodles.
I live in the semi-country. Which really means it’s not the country, but just kind of secluded. And that there are big hills without houses that are harvested for grass in the summertime. It also means there are coyotes (ky-oats, not ky-oat-ees) who venture real close. And last Tuesday, there was a damn pack of them, 50-odd feet away. Yelping and yowling in their wild animal ways.
Before I even heard them, Bo was shoe-d up, shotgun in hand, and halfway out the door. He asked me if it was legal to shoot them in town, though he probably would have done it anyway. I never found out either way.
- Our mall is getting terrible. Every time I go another store has closed. Which is good because I don’t buy anything but bad because I can’t buy anything.
- Each shopper – me, rooms, and other friend, were unusually tired. Like mono-level tired.
- Carlos O’Kelly’s took forever, as per usual. But also hosted sub-zero temperatures. Not near the doors, not near a vent.
- The day’s temps reached 60-ish degrees, and hosted a blizzard two hours later. Causing a change of tens of degrees and an intense bout of freezing wind.
- Collectively, we spent less than $50.
Rooms took a trip to the South. To avoid cold and also to visit. Which means, for the first time in ages, I had the entire apartment to myself. Which I used to do so much laundry. Have a nail painting session. And also to watch the season finale of How to Get Away With Murder – the best show ever – which ended INCREDIBLY.
Oh and I finished my taxes, which I should have followed with about eight bottles of champagne. But didn’t, on account of not wanting to deal with that many corks sans supervision.
After a solid bout of work (yep, worked on a Friday and wasn’t even upset about it), Granny invited me to lunch. That’s the last time I ever ignore her morning calls, BTW (from work, not from being rude).
Her inquiry was for a festive Mexican lunch, which she always wants to have on account of Grandad hating anything with flavor. And I always want to go because it’s always delicious. Only it didn’t sit quite right. Even though I ordered a go-to fave and water without ice.
The rest of the day was spent bent over in pain. I went to bed at 7 pm with Netflix and plain noodles.
Other Things that Happened
- I was invited to a gender reveal party. Does something hop out of a cake? Are there side bets? (Fingers crossed.)
- Returned Tupperware to its owner, only to have it sent back with me, full of cinnamon roll.
- Was offered two free coffees and one free lunch.
- Happened across an impromptu job fair (impromptu for me, not the planners) and did some incredible people watching. Like students filling out job applications in neon ink.
- Was asked for directions – me, a woman – by two different men in two different locations.
- And finally, in crowing announcement form, I found out Teen Witch is now on Netflix instant watch. Top that, ya’ll.
*It may have been two or three weeks ago, actually.