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Finding a Solution to Yard-Pooping Dogs
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,
Finding a Solution to Yard-Pooping Dogs

Sometimes when I wake up, there is dog poop in the yard. Most days there is not. But on the calendar days that the dog(s) do strike, they ensure their contribution is very large and very smelly.

There are enough suspects around that I can’t pinpoint the perp. There’s the yellow lab from two doors down who is sisters with the cat, the roamer, Bullwinkle, who sometimes naps out back, the two tennis ball chasers from across the street, and the other yellow one who is usually with his Mom … but never listens to her. All of these dogs exist, without leashes, throughout my neighborhood.

Apparently, it’s a new initiative that promotes a cage-free lifestyle and defecating at one’s leisure. So long as it’s not in your own yard. Because why would you smell up grass when you can take care of business downwind? It’s likely one of the initiative’s topics at weekly meetings. (Which, BTW, I’m pretty sure are held in the newly/never developed area behind the house – a fully-piped space for tens of non-existent houses.)

Besides, aren’t these owners worried their pets will get hit by cars?! Or kidnapped by an overzealous teenager?
To date, the offending 2s have been cleaned and properly disposed of … angrily. I’ve contemplated signs. (A nice Pinterest-y version, of course.) Only dogs can’t read and seeing as their owners let them run free, even the capable eyes wouldn’t view the signage. Maybe I could put up a sign on the mailbox (is that legal?). Seeing as all post is delivered into a sub-division lockbox – vs. the cute, in-front-of-your-actual-house kinds – everyone would see it. Including all of the dog owners. Obviously, I’d take a picture of the actual poop, then post with text like, “Are you the parent to this poop?” or “Unwanted fertilizer; please leash your pup.” Then add a Harriet the Spy logo for good measure. Maybe Sherlock Holmes – I still haven’t figured out the median demographic.harriet the spy vs. sherlock holmes

Another idea is putting up motion-detector cameras and catching the actual dog in the act. Then printing out copies and placing on every single complex door. Adding a red X atop the squatter to push the point. (That’s a good use of free time, right?) Sure it might sound “creepy,” but it’s also perfectly legal – property crapping, however, is not.

I should also add, so that no one gets the wrong idea about this savvy sign maker, that I don’t hate dogs, I just hate what comes out of them: smelly, in-my-way, waiting to be stepped in, poop. I don’t even own a dog, but if I did, it’d be dumping right in its own lawn, where it was held on a chain and then walked at a healthy frequency. Like how polite dogs are kept.

From now on hounds, unless your bowels are empty, pop off my yard.

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