Weather Patterns that are Universally Un-Universal
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,
Weather Patterns that are Universally Un-Universal

Considering I’ve lived in it my entire life, you’d think I’d be accustomed to Midwestern weather. How, no matter what the TV or Internet tells you, it’s going to be at least three climates in one day. (Probably all of the ones you didn’t dress for.) Calls for heat can mean actual cool temps and rain. And if they say it’s going to rain, it almost never does. Even when chance is 100%.

That’s the way it is. You just get used to never being used to anything. Then you throw your hands up and say “That’s Kansas!” and no one thinks anything of it. Except for me who thinks everything of it. Why, after a lifetime of unpredictability am I still surprised when 101 degree forecasts turn into 89 degrees and sprinkles? Why, after decades of technological advancements, are weather stations still wrong – as a rule – about the day’s outcome? And more importantly, why am I not over these things that happen every single day?

Reason would tell me that things are getting even more unpredictable than they’ve previously been. But not necessarily more violent. As I child I spent many a night hiding under couches in musty basements – awaiting tornadoes that never hit ground. (Only sometimes did we see their tails.) But now, siren bouts are few and far between. Unless you live in Oklahoma. Knock on wood, but I can’t remember the last time I heard them without it being a test. Or a power outage trigger.

unpredictable weather pictureNow things are just … crazier. Not tornado-y, just out of left field. (And the perfect breeding ground for flies, apparently.) Winds take over, rains are harsh and heavy. And you almost never know what the temperatures will approach. I keep a sweatshirt on me at all times. Just in case Mother Nature decides to strike. Or if I need something from the grocery store.

Almost all of my plants are dead, and nothing is safe on my front porch. Even if it weighs so much that I cannot lift it, nor push it with my entire weight behind me. You will think it’s safe being two feet by one foot of solid dirt, only the wind will catch it and sent it into the neighbor’s side yard. Like that’s what it was supposed to do.

Future Weather Predicting Plans?

Ideally, I’d be like an old timer who is all-knowing. Who could look at the sky and be all, “This is going to happen.” And be right. These people exist, I’ve seen them.
The weathermen are no help, either. Are their tools really so inaccurate? That it can be tens of degrees off? And 100% off on precipitation? I’ve even heard they predict varying patterns on purpose, on the off chance that they are right and their competition wrong.

Why don’t they – shocker – just predict what’s most likely? Or tell us the chances of each possible outcome? Novel, I know. Maybe even ridiculous. But we can take it weathermen, I swear. At least then we’d have an inkling of the day’s outcomes. Not allowing ourselves to be blindsided. Every day. Then again, you’d think we’d be not so blindsided because it does happen every day. Logic, huh?

So good job Kansas, you got me again. And every time after that. One of these days I’ll get used to your ways – at least that’s what I’m telling myself. But as it turns out I’ll believe anything … even the weathermen.


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