This blog is being penned at 5:30 am. On a Monday. Which feels like a real accomplishment. (She said, patting herself on her own back.) But seriously, I’m not even upset about being up. The cause? Prepping for a day of impromptu babysitting,* and still doing work … before afternooning with video games and park visits. (And hopefully napping. But can I also sleep? Is that being irresponsible? Once when I was visiting Hilde, who is a pro nanny, we both slept straight through naptime – hung over – and set an alarm so we weren’t zonked when the parents came home. Us and the kids were absolutely out.)
Anyway, sometimes I wake up early and get things done. One of those “things” is rarely work on account of there being all day to get to the office, AKA second bedroom. But today, it is work. Though there’s still an entire day for productivity, I’m getting crap done now. I even started a load of laundry, fed the cat, made coffee, and packed my husband’s lunch. Like a good little worker bee.
Look how many things I can get done before breakfast! (Because who is hungry at this time? Aside from Toga who is ALWAYS hungry.) I feel ultra un-lazy, and I’m able to utilize my robe for hours at a time … and not because I forgot to get dressed. I don’t have to be presentable yet, and am loving every second of appropriate loungewear time. Even without actual lounging.
No one is emailing yet, which means I’m not getting distracted – or if they are emailing, they’re impressed that I’m already working – brownie points Beth, right here.
Today, there are more glasses wearing hours. Cause I only like wearing them in dark and kind of sleepiness. Once it’s bright, there’s zero peripherals. My eyes are that bad. Also I have an excuse at eating two breakfasts, or maybe two snacks, because when awake all dang day, I’m inevitably hungry. Finally, waking up in darkness makes a person tired, which means I’ll be on the same old man schedule as Bo. Who, before jetting to work, had an entire conversation in one-word sentences. “Uh huh,” “yeah,” silent nodding, and “OK” are his morning faves.
Sometimes I think this should be my every day.
It’s like, gross early. Meaning I might be alert now, but will crash mid-afternoon. No matter how much coffee I drink. Also, drinking too much coffee gives me weird side effects, namely itching. And who wants to be itchy all day? You can’t sleep, but not because you aren’t tired, because your skin is crawling so hard no lotion can begin to stop it.
It’s mega dark out, too. What time does the sun come up and when will outside be not creepy? All of the hard-to-close blinds are up, so if a neighbor decides to get an early go at peeping, they’ll see me typing away in a bright pink robe, sucking down some brew. In glasses, of course. (Did I mention how comfortable I am?)
If I had to be up and dressed at this hour, that would be an entirely different (and way worse) story – which is also the case every Wednesday when I’m getting ready around this time (5:48). My makeup is unfresh by lunch and I have that whole “you look tired” thing going all day. I look tired because I am tired, you buttholes. And what’s the alternative? Waking up at 4:30 to get “awake” before it’s dressing time? Good luck with that plan.
Finally, the cat wants out. He likes roaming in darkness, like a true vegetarian vampire (grasshoppers only). But isn’t brave enough to defend himself in the threat of a fight. He needs to have the door open for his escape plan at all times. Right now, that means settling for window perching, which is his second-fave activity. (After eating).
Will I wake up this early tomorrow? There’s really no telling. I might set an alarm and beat it out of bed. Or snooze five-plus times until finally deciding to have a weekday. It’s anybody’s guess, even mine. So if you have any inkling for the odds, we’d all love to hear about it.
*Which consists of putting heavy things on a tall shelf, locating the coloring books I had in college, and making sure there are plenty of PB&J supplies in the cabinet.