The best part about having an outdoorsy husband is that they know how to do stuff. They can chop and hunt, and kill and clean, and you get to sit back and watch. (Then later, eat.) At least at all the parts that aren’t disgusting. At times it’s real manly, and I like knowing he knows how to do what I don’t. A balancing out of sorts.
The worst part is they want you to like it, too. (Also gear is way expensive.) So, because they want you to be apart of something they love, like some type of jerks, they get you out of bed at 4 am, drive you to a remote location, warn you about drinking beverages because you won’t be allowed to use the restroom. And then they have you climb in a tree and sit. For hours.
Combined, it leads to a day that’s pretty much full of everything that you hate. Including but not limited to:
- Being cold
- Not being able to use normal beauty products (because they leave a scent trail)
- Wearing baggy, non-feminine clothing
- Not having access to a bathroom, and therefore being denied coffee, tea, or additional delicious hot drinks; never have I wanted hot chocolate so much in my entire life.
- Books aren’t allowed (I tried … and got in trouble)
- Waking up early
- Being semi-lost in the outdoors
- Dealing with the general here’s-the-token-woman attitude when you run into other gun toters
There have to be good parts too, right? I know that’s what you are thinking and you are kind of right. The good parts are that my husband likes doing it, and therefore embracing his hobby wins me brownie points. (In a similar light, I’d be VERY excited if he wanted to go to some type of book museum or knitting expose with me … not that I’m holding my breath.) Afterwards, both days, I took a super-bomb nap; hunting takes it out of you.
Another highlight is that now I know how I feel about hunting.
Sure we all had our suspicions that I’d hate it. But now we know for sure. The guessing work is gone. I’d bit into the kumquat and it was not my cup of tea. Not saying I won’t ever experiment again, you never know how tastily something can be dressed up after it’s been highlighted on the Food Network, but I’m off them for a while. At least until my hubs can convince me his recipe is delicious enough to fight off the sheer essence that is my opinion of kumquat.
On day one, we saw no deer. On day two, there were two deer killed, but not by us. There were other live ones, too, apparently. But my terrible eyesight wasn’t stealthy enough to track them down. Also, there are a ton of rules. Unspoken rules that are apparently common sense, but that I needed explained to me. Like, how even if you’re way far away, you can’t move. And other things that are boring. Like hunting in general.
So, to sum up, I love my husband, I do not love his hobbies … that is, whenever I’m “forced” to participate.