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Open the Vault Already, Disney: Movies I Want in My DVD Library
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Unless you’ve been living in some type of secluded cave, you know how Disney sells its movies: on its own terms and out of a “vault.” (I also like to think that these films, original tape and all, are sitting somewhere in a literal giant vault that does not have a mouse head for a door.) Where only certain films are available at any given time. It’s a concept that limits how many DVDs you can accumulate at once (that is unless you look to outside vendors like Amazon or eBay), while hypothetically ensuring Disney will sell more films during each of their efforts. It’s a method I think is a bunch of crap. Because You can pretty much get these movies anyway, so long as you’re willing to pay. The vault was started in 1944 – which makes it more than 60 years old. Time for a change, guys. […]

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Amazon Can Read My Mind Better Than I Can
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Amazon, you never cease to amaze me with how much you know about my life. Until logging into my account, I didn’t know just how badly I wanted that new keyboard cover, or that my there was a grammar-based board game that I just have to have. (Not that anyone would play with me.) And a million other examples as to how they read my mind. Because without Amazon, how would I know what I want to buy? Surely I couldn’t find such awesome things on my own. Like these infinite Kitchenaid attachments – who wants homemade everything?! But now that I know how they do it – which is creep city – I’m still ok with it. Even though it makes them super stalky. With behavior analytics and software that guesses our movements, they’re able to determine who likes what with amazing accuracy. That if you make a certain […]

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What I’m Reading: Favorite Book Series(es)
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Yeah, I know the plural of “series” is “series,” but since I am talking about multiples of multiples, I really want the extra S on there, OK? Like, if you were talking about two sets of twins and you just said “twins,” no one would know you meant two pairs instead of one. But this example ads another layer of confusion, because if you said “twinses” it sounds just like “twins’ ” so people would probably think you meant one set of twins and their belongings, not two different set of twins in one setting. (Not that the need for that sentence probably comes up that often – maybe at a convention for multiples?) In no particular order, here are some of my favorite book series(es) of all time. Harry Potter It’s got magic, it’s got Brits, and it’s got good writing – who could ask for anything more? I […]

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I Burned My Teapot and it Ruined My Life
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In case you’re new here, I drink a lot of tea. Hot, cold, or whatever the mood may strike, tea is part of my everyday, hot beverage-loving routine. My main jam is Earl Grey (and blog namesake), but I’ll deviate to fruit flavors, greens, orange peokes, and even breakfast versions every now and again, so long as it’s English. Irish makes me want to puke – the tea, not the peoples; one of my BFFs is a ginger. Each morning I get up, drink at least one glass of water. (Growing up with a dad who thought water cured everything, you develop an addiction.) Then I fire up the teapot, wait 17 minutes – 16-minute tea and 18-minute tea are underdeveloped and piss, respectively. And then I drink tea all dang day. Generally that means two rounds from my two-cup pot. Sometimes it’s less, but almost never more. Too much […]

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A is for Amazon, for Which I am Thankful
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Note: In honor of one of my favorite authors, Sue Grafton (who is not releasing a novel this holiday season), today’s blog was named after a letter. It was also her books that led me to another beloved author, Edward Gorey, whose The Gashlycrumb Tinies sparked Grafton’s alphabet murders.  Ahh, what Thanksgiving spirit they have. Oh Amazon, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways: Thou art kind (Why yes, I’d love to check out your daily specials.), complimentary (My review helped how many shoppers? What a flatterer you are, Zon.). And thou hast the memory of a 20-something on an entire bottle of ginkgo biloba (What’s waiting in checkout? Oh right; thanks for the head’s up.). But most importantly, thee knows mine own heart more thoroughly than any other. Pages and pages of my desires are lined up in detail – all that which were provided with […]

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The Pisa of Book Towers
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As my bio states, I have more than a “frequent user” Amazon addiction. Like any smoker hooked on nicotine, it is not only something I want, but something I need. Every Sunday night I decide that I’m quitting “tomorrow,” and every Monday morning I’m lighting up my mouse and inhaling cheaply priced books. Thanks to what I can only describe as desperate pricing schemes, I’m able to buy classics for as little as a penny each. (Economy tanking, point one.) Amazon, in its wise ways, has a suggestion tab that follows my every search and purchase; it has me pegged for the book-loving, knitting, comedy-appreciating lame-wad that I am. In fact, each time I check this tab I find myself complimenting its finds. “I didn’t know David Sedaris wrote plays,” I will tell myself, in shock. “There’s a Ferris Bueller/Animal House combo pack?! Sign me up please!” My wish list […]

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the original
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Hello and welcome to my blog. Although this is not my first blog (I have had a few  forced and failed attempts by way of school), I’m hoping this one is more long term. Those other blogs in the past were just my test drives, a way to feel out which features or models fit me best. But now I’ve found a blog I can really see myself driving, and I’m ready to put a ring on it. After becoming a professional writer some time — the dates are fuzzy — I found there weren’t enough outlets that allowed me to write the types of posts I was interested in writing, which is to say ones like this one. Ones that have a lot of words but don’t really say much. So I created my own. And although, to date, this blog has netted zero dollars and cost multiple headaches, […]

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