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My Life as a Bathroom Attendant
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , ,

A few weekends and beverages ago, I attended a bachelorette party in a swanky neck of the woods. A formal ID scanning was required to enter – meaning the bouncer actually looked at my face to confirm license ownership. Covers were charged at each bar’s door, and between dinner and drinks, a good chunk of my paycheck was digested. But not being one to normally venture, I tried to embrace the available opportunities – meaning I ordered the local beer and made friends with the bathroom attendant. Because apparently, when being classy, you aren’t allowed to squirt your own soap. After making a beeline to the nearest open stall, I was pleasantly surprised to find a middle-aged woman in an apron. She squirted honey-lemon suds into my hands, then handed me a paper towel (the fancy, plush kind) once I’d finished rinsing. Should I have needed a refresher, she also […]

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No Thanks, Government
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , ,

The amount of political coverage is continuing to grow by the day, and the ratio of decent TV shows have swindled accordingly. Last fall, primaries and decided candidates were a calendar change away. But now that the election still has a whopping nine months to go – yes that’s the equivalent of a human pregnancy; babies that have yet to be conceived will be born before the presidential winner is announced – it’s everywhere. Everywhere. There are signs along the highway, sponsored messages in my Twitter feed, recorded messages are calling my house – if my voting choice is down to the wire, I’ll simply choose who contacted me the least. But most annoyingly, the yet-to-take-place elections are affecting my TV watching. New shows haven’t been on for weeks, and I blame politics. Not network or interdepartmental politics, but the big kind: Uncle Sam.* When I sit down to the […]

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