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The Worst Chores Never Get Done
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“You’re from the country but you ‘aint country,” that’s what my husband told me one day. He’s good at revelations like that. Quick one-liners that describe people nice and succinctly … sometimes even better than they’re able to describe themselves. Like how he pointed out my inability to get keys made or place things in the safe, even if they’re valuable and that is their actual “spot.” I hate clutter, but somehow refuse to put these things away. Each time he’d ask about one or the other, I’d say the same thing, “No I didn’t do it yet. Sorry I’m lazy.” And he’d just shrug and that’d be that … until he queried again the next week. Until one day he left me with a humdinger. It wasn’t that I was lazy, he said; I do lots of things, after all. It’s that if I don’t want to do something, […]

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The Garden is Growing
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Despite what a wise old man once told me, I planted my garden well before graduation. About three weeks ago, I got my plants into the ground, and they’ve been drinking, sunning, and sprouting ever since. Especially the ones that started as seeds, as they had the furthest paths to take. So far, some expected setbacks have taken place, along with some not-so-expected ones, like chilly days, a neighborhood cat digging through my dirt, and excessive wind. Admittedly, the plants could use some more sun … until about July when they’ll be begging for some shade – we take what we can get here in the Midwest, little plants. But otherwise, we’re doing pretty solid. On the docket: Tomatoes Jalapenos Green Bell Peppers Onions Radishes Cucumbers Blueberries As many herbs that decide to sprout. So far that means cilantro and mustard. New This Year Instead of spraying bee-killing poisons on […]

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Generations of Bunco
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In my years on this earth, I have played Bunco all of two times. It’s a game that requires little-to-no skill other than the ability to roll dice, looking at what numbers are on said dice, and eating snacks. There are a lot of snacks involved, which means it’s my kind of game. Basically it works like this – in my beginner experience: there are three tables of four people. Tables range from winners to losers to extra losers (my terms, not theirs), and you all sit and roll dice. First you shoot for ones, then twos, and so on. After each round, winners (whoever got more of the designated number) moves up to a higher table, while losers move down. Simple enough, right? It’s also pretty fun. Get all three of the number you’re after and it’s a Bunco, or get all three of a different number and it’s […]

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#LongHairProbs
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As previously discussed, I have a lot of hair. Not only in length, but width; each strand of my hair has a larger circumference than the average grower’s locks. If the ’80s were to come back in style, I’d rock it hard … with minimal hairspray. And really, I can only hope they do. Big hair is my absolute jam, and in order to make up for the years of fighting my God-given talent (sheer follicle volume), I think it’s high time I cash in. But first off, let’s start by discussing what could obviously be changed. I could cut my hair, sure. I could chop it off and be done with half of what this post complains about. In fact I have, several times. I’ve gone under the scissors and had my hair shortened to chin length and above. Only I still shed as much and my hair is […]

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Every Day is Craft Day
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It’s true, my hobbies, in my old age, are getting kind of lame. Where I once enforced a two-beer knitting rule, now it’s an it’s-after-10-p.m. rule … or I just stop crafting because my carpal tunnel is acting up. But now the lame-ness factor is only getting worse; I’m starting in on quilts and indoor gardening projects – and I even do it on the weekends. Sometimes with accomplices, other times with Toga as my only witness. I’m getting Facebook notifications for craft-based games. I’m learning that craft-based games exist. My sewing machine has taken claim on the dining room table. And the worst part is, I actually like it. Because it’s cold and because it’s deployment, I need some things to pass the time. And when those things are productive, even better. Why Netflix when you can Netflix and make a blanket to keep you cozy for the next […]

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The Worst Part of Hunting is All of It
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The best part about having an outdoorsy husband is that they know how to do stuff. They can chop and hunt, and kill and clean, and you get to sit back and watch. (Then later, eat.) At least at all the parts that aren’t disgusting. At times it’s real manly, and I like knowing he knows how to do what I don’t. A balancing out of sorts. The worst part is they want you to like it, too. (Also gear is way expensive.) So, because they want you to be apart of something they love, like some type of jerks, they get you out of bed at 4 am, drive you to a remote location, warn you about drinking beverages because you won’t be allowed to use the restroom. And then they have you climb in a tree and sit. For hours. While only squirrels make noise and the LTE […]

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Reasons Fall is My Homegirl
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The term “basic bitch” may be so 2014, but for today, we’re bringing it back. Why? Because it’s fall, and hearing “basic” reminds me, almost exclusive, of everything fall. Seeing as some Internet someone decided to associate the term with everything awesome, it stuck. In my head. Where I’m reminded of every fall awesome thing. Like: Leggings Yes and yes some more. They are comfortable like a vacation for the legs. And you can wear them with baggy shirts … without feeling guilty about it. Whoever talks crap on leggings has never worn them. Or hates being great at life. Pumpkin Flavored Anything Guys, pumpkin tastes delicious. And it’s seasonal, just like every vegetable in the summer or peppermint in the winter. (All of which have a great reputation, BTW.) Let’s all stop talking crap already and leave pumpkin spice alone. Just like Britney. Scarves They’re warm. They’re comfortable. They’re […]

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