0
The Worst Chores Never Get Done
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

“You’re from the country but you ‘aint country,” that’s what my husband told me one day. He’s good at revelations like that. Quick one-liners that describe people nice and succinctly … sometimes even better than they’re able to describe themselves. Like how he pointed out my inability to get keys made or place things in the safe, even if they’re valuable and that is their actual “spot.” I hate clutter, but somehow refuse to put these things away. Each time he’d ask about one or the other, I’d say the same thing, “No I didn’t do it yet. Sorry I’m lazy.” And he’d just shrug and that’d be that … until he queried again the next week. Until one day he left me with a humdinger. It wasn’t that I was lazy, he said; I do lots of things, after all. It’s that if I don’t want to do something, […]

Read More
0
Every Day is Craft Day
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

It’s true, my hobbies, in my old age, are getting kind of lame. Where I once enforced a two-beer knitting rule, now it’s an it’s-after-10-p.m. rule … or I just stop crafting because my carpal tunnel is acting up. But now the lame-ness factor is only getting worse; I’m starting in on quilts and indoor gardening projects – and I even do it on the weekends. Sometimes with accomplices, other times with Toga as my only witness. I’m getting Facebook notifications for craft-based games. I’m learning that craft-based games exist. My sewing machine has taken claim on the dining room table. And the worst part is, I actually like it. Because it’s cold and because it’s deployment, I need some things to pass the time. And when those things are productive, even better. Why Netflix when you can Netflix and make a blanket to keep you cozy for the next […]

Read More
0
The Worst Part of Hunting is All of It
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,

The best part about having an outdoorsy husband is that they know how to do stuff. They can chop and hunt, and kill and clean, and you get to sit back and watch. (Then later, eat.) At least at all the parts that aren’t disgusting. At times it’s real manly, and I like knowing he knows how to do what I don’t. A balancing out of sorts. The worst part is they want you to like it, too. (Also gear is way expensive.) So, because they want you to be apart of something they love, like some type of jerks, they get you out of bed at 4 am, drive you to a remote location, warn you about drinking beverages because you won’t be allowed to use the restroom. And then they have you climb in a tree and sit. For hours. While only squirrels make noise and the LTE […]

Read More
0
We Salute You, Maker of the Bobby Pin
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , , ,

Ladies of long hair, where would we be without the bobby pin? The small, yet incredibly helpful hair tool that keeps our tresses in place. They conceal, they pull in and tuck together, they harness even the thickest of hot mess hair days. And they do it all without so much as a complaint. Sure sometimes they stretch out or twist, but that’s nothing that can’t be fixed with some pliers. (By a man in our lives, obviously. Because we’re women.) Which lets us hold onto this amazing invention even longer. Guys, I’m serious. Bobby pins need a solid shout out. They’re underrated, and I’m ready to give them the thanks they deserve … aside from supporting the financial cause. In History Around the turn of the century, ladies decided, “To hell with this heat” and started chopping off their buns … hair buns, that is. Then they began wearing […]

Read More
2
The “How We Met Story” And How I Got My New Last Name

Like any couple, my husband and I are asked – like, hundreds of times per day – how we met. People are interested. They want to know how we found each other. What circumstances in the universe that brought two strangers together. And at what point we decided it was forever – you know, the whole love story bit. All of the parts right until “happily ever after,” because after that it’s just the boring sections of life. Why else would fairytales use it as their closer? But our answer is always the same. Or rather, our separate answers are always the same. I fumble a little. While Bo, my now-husband, goes straight for the jugular. He tells them that we met online, and it was through Plenty of Fish. Because he has no fears, and I’m not as quick to admit to my semi-questionable choice in dating sites – no offense PoF, […]

Read More
0
The Name Game: Changing Half of Everything
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

One of my biggest character flaws is making sweeping statements without knowing all of the facts. Sometimes I mean said statements, sometimes they are jokes, and other times I’m just jumping to conclusions for the time-being, quickly changing my mind soon after. It’s a reality that’s made me learn to take my own opinions with a grain of salt. Because not only am I judgmental, I’m bad at making non-committal small talk. It could be one or the other or both at any given moment. One such judgment I’ve made – for years – is about ladies with two last names. Hyphening their surnames for one reason or another. Or those who don’t take their spouse’s name at all. Whether an inability to let go of the past or trying to make their name more stand out-ish, I probably called you out. But now that I’m married and trying to […]

Read More
0
I’m Going to the South: Here are My Concerns

In honeymoon/vacation-type fashion, Bo and I are taking a trip this summer. An entire two weeks of road traveling, eating fast quick food, and experiencing new things. Or rather, me experiencing the things that he knew for the first decades of his life. Like fresh fish and coastal living, calling shopping carts “buggies” and coozies “huggies.” And other things that don’t exist in Kansas. Alligators. The choice of whether tea comes in sweet or regular. Crawfish – not crawdads. And all the fresh seafood one could ever think of eating. That’s what’s on our agenda. But what if I come back with an accent? Or develop diabetes after a single sip of that ultra-sugared tea? Or call things all of the wrong words until no one knows what I’m talking about? My Yankee ways will confuse everyone, even when they are smart and helpful. Like washing dirty hats in the […]

Read More