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House Hunters is Ridiculous and Should be Renamed “Money Doesn’t Matter”
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Sometimes I watch HGTV. Because it’s full of interesting shows. Almost as good as Investigation Discovery, but cheerier. Really, if I had actual cable and not Netflix/Chromecast, I’d watch it most days, probably. It’s just that enjoyable. Especially when Nicole Curtis is on. But when she’s not, my go-to replacement is House Hunters. On account of it combining two of my favorite hobbies: seeing the insides of houses and judging. A grand time for all. If you’ve never seen the show, let me explain how the premise works. A person or couple is looking to move. They work with a realtor, tell them what they want (and in what price range), and then they look at three houses. At the end of the show they choose one of them – usually – and claim it for their very own. Now, I’m assuming there’s way more that goes into this. Maybe […]

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Sexism and Hypocrisy: Things That Happen
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,

It’s time I put my foot down. In the hardest, announciest way I know how. #ThatFootisMe   If I had an amount of money for every time I was talked down to, from having lady parts, I’d be retired and rich.* As if I, a woman, can’t function in life as efficiently as a man. That a Y chromosome is needed to make me complete, or safe, or financially stable, or whatever else it is about the male form that requires us gals to adhere ourselves to their existence. Even though I air up my own tires and take out my own trash, you know, when my roommate’s boyfriend hasn’t already done it. Not everyone follows this mantra – I’ll give you that – but a certain percentage of the population is still out there. Querying us with pity in their eyes and sexism in their hearts. Generally, it comes […]

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Anything Can Happen Week, But Only Some Things Did
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,

Most days, I am boring. I work, I work out. Finish chores, make lists of other things that need checked off. I eat, and also sleep, and play with my cat. His litter box gets cleaned in the evenings. Right before I shower and settle into my already-made bed. Of course, fun is had. But in a timely manner – once responsibilities have been taken care of. Bills paid. But last week, it was one for the books. Crazy shiz was happening every day. I got record amounts of work done. Fun approached haphazardly and without warning. Sickness struck even when there was plenty to be done, which I powered through. Wednesday events happened on a Tuesday, Friday was a whirlwind. Normal Tuesday events didn’t take place at all. It was like I was some sort of college heathen who never knows what day it was. A whopper of February […]

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I Have an Announcement, and it is That I Have a New Boyfriend
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , ,

It’s true. It’s been true – for not super long, but not super short. And now I’m ready to tell you about it. So read up or don’t, just don’t ask me in person like you didn’t get this very convenient announcement. Cause, much like burgers with cheese, I won’t be having it. First things first, I know everyone is just dying to know his nickname. And I’ve decided on – drumroll please – Bo. On account of several reasons. Because he’s Southern and there was a Duke cousin named Bo. Also because he loves shooting things, with bullets and with arrows. And most obviously, because he’s my beau. Except that I hate the 90s French spelling,* even if he does speak a fair amount of French. FAQs How’d we meet? Fate/irony. What does he do? Professional badass/traveler. You decide what that means; it’s not bounty hunting. Which part of […]

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Resolution Follow Up: Reuniting with Jeans
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

As per my New Year’s “resolution,” I didn’t wear jeans for a solid chunk of time. That means that for a real hot minute, my legs only saw soft fabrics. Sweat pants, leggings, pajamas – really anything that didn’t come with a zipper or hidden pockets. And it was pretty great. Infinite levels of comfort. Or rather, 23.5 days of comfort – which is how long I lasted before falling back into the sweet routine of sporting denim. On the 24th day, I wore jeans. It was only for a few hours, and they weren’t even the fancy ones. But it still happened. I wanted to go on a walk on account of the nice weather, and rather than sporting jeggings with bulky shoes, I jean-ed up. And it felt glorious – even found a rogue golf ball, which was obviously due to my at-the-time outfit. Really, the jig could’ve […]

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Sometimes Cops Are Nice And Change Your Tags For You
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Last week I got pulled over. On account of not having my proper tags on my car. It’d been two entire weeks since the new license place had been thrown haphazardly into my trunk. And since stashing Christmas shopping packages a few days prior, I’d forgotten completely about it. I, had, of course asked my dad to do it. Not because I didn’t know how or couldn’t. It was just cold and I didn’t want to. Then forgot. The task slipped Dad, AKA Wonk’s mind too, and there the tag sat. Any word on when the Winchester brothers are getting an updated tag style? You KNOW they can’t get pulled over. Until I got pulled over. By the nicest cop in the whole entire world. He was real gentle about it, didn’t use his sirens and introduced himself all nice. Not like in a grandpa way on account of him […]

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The Men of California: A Commentary on the Opposite Sex on the Opposite Coast
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Tired of reading about my vacation yet? Too bad. California men are super blunt. Like, let’s-go-get-married-but-not-have-kids-for-two-years blunt. And it’s something to get used to. Not that men “back home” are passive, or even vague, but they at least beat around the bush A LITTLE when they want to [fill in the blank] with you. So as to not scare women off. Like we were skittish cats who need to be approached slowly. So being around all the men who are like, “Let’s bone, yesterday,” comes with a bit of a learning curve. If for nothing else than working on a poker face. The tactic was described to me, by one of them, as a way to pick up women. By being “sarcastic as f*ck.” So they can get closer to their main target, which is ladies, on all levels of classiness. Because it makes us laugh, and then they have an […]

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