In the world of freelance writing, unless you’re doing 10 million things at once, you feel like you’re doing nothing. Like not even one thing. So really it’s lucky that I’ve been doing so many thousands of things every single second of the last month and into this month. And I get it, you don’t want to hear how busy I am. It’s lame. I don’t want to hear how busy you are, or even how busy I should be or have been or could be if I was actually keeping up with my office paperwork. And yet here we are. Sigh. #kindofsorry So if you want to help me get less busy (so I can bless you with more blogs, like Tuesdays used to happen), here’s a list of things you can do. Come cook dinner at my house. Return all of these Amazon packages that came in weird sizes […]
It’s time I put my foot down. In the hardest, announciest way I know how. #ThatFootisMe If I had an amount of money for every time I was talked down to, from having lady parts, I’d be retired and rich.* As if I, a woman, can’t function in life as efficiently as a man. That a Y chromosome is needed to make me complete, or safe, or financially stable, or whatever else it is about the male form that requires us gals to adhere ourselves to their existence. Even though I air up my own tires and take out my own trash, you know, when my roommate’s boyfriend hasn’t already done it. Not everyone follows this mantra – I’ll give you that – but a certain percentage of the population is still out there. Querying us with pity in their eyes and sexism in their hearts. Generally, it comes […]
Now that I’m back in an actual swing of working – the holidays are over and my Tuesday work partner left to go work in the real world, lame x infinity – I’m actually getting a crap-ton done. (Don’t look so surprised.) To keep up with my incredible progress, I thought I’d give a solid S/O to all of my shiz. Everything I use on a daily basis. From tea cups to super-long charging cords, here’s my favorite things. And no, you can’t have them. PaperMate Flair Pens Go ahead and laugh. They’re glorious. And colorful. And in case you are wondering, this is the almost exact set that I have. Post Its Also colorful. I go through two-plus of these things per day. EOS Balls Word on the street is that mint’s the fave, though I’ve yet to try it. Other types of Chap Stick are also […]
As you may or may not know (or care about), I write posts a week in advance. It just seems to run more smoothly that way. And also it gives me seven entire days to stew and laugh (really hard) about whatever nonsense I came up with. Anyway, that schedule means today is Christmas Eve Eve (as in the eve to the 24th, which is also known as the 23rd) and I have thousands of things to do. THOUSANDS, I tell you. And writing this blog isn’t exactly number one on my list right now … or even number four. No offense guys, but there are presents to be knitted and actual paying work to be turned in. And emails to be sent. Showers to be taken. Cookies to be made … you’re getting the picture. So anyway, not sorry for half-assing this. I’ll be back to full-assing just as soon […]
Get ready folks, it’s time for another exciting edition of my favorite search terms. Of all time. Specifically, what people think up and type in order to find Earl and Other Greys. For any SEO newbs, that’s search engine optimization, these terms just mean that, because I have these words somewhere within my site – in whatever context – when people search said phrases, they’re taken to my website. And not only do I show up in their results, but am clicked upon … for a certain number of clicks. [For more info on what I can and can’t see – no I don’t know who’s clicking; I’m not tech savvy enough as those types of capabilities most probably exist – check out this original post.] Meanwhile, I’m looking at these terms nearly every day and LOLing in the process. And just like the original edition of this post, they came […]
About the time I graduated and moved back in with my parents, I started writing a book. A real David Sedaris-inspired collection of essays. But ones that didn’t necessarily relate to one another or have any cohesive theme. Which is what that one literary agent told me that one time. The accomplishment, I thought, would be a real pop-off to everyone who judged me for being a millennial. For paying my student loans with tips from scotch and waters … on account of me pouring the scotch far heavier than the water. That and they’d read my book and realize how hilarious I am. Essentially, it seemed like a great way to profit while handing out a large supply of comeuppance. Only it didn’t turn out that way. Four-plus years later I’m still sitting on this goldmine of a manuscript. (Goldmine, I tell you.) With only a few published essays […]
It’s summer, nerds. Which means it’s time to mosey back on over to our Tuesday schedule. You’re welcome to my favorite hashtag of all time, #newblogtuesday. Subscribers can receive updates without interruption, while those who check in might see their posts on an adjusted schedule. And in anticipation of future questions: Will anything change? Other than the dates that are posted, no. Will EoG return to a two-per-week schedule? Maybe, depends how I’m feeling each Monday. Why the change? Because I’m trying to get whelmed: Until next week, ya’ll.