It’s happening – Earl and Other Greys is moving to a two-per-week schedule. And it’s time to get excited. No more will you have to wait seven long days to read new content; fresh posts will be waiting every Monday and Thursday morning. Like it were a very choosy clock. Sure it means twice the writing, but with the good feedback we’ve gotten lately (a-thank you), we’re willing to take the dive.* Which brings us to our second (and only other) item on the agenda: stuff about doubles. Like tennis, sizes of shots, and fattening burgers. If I had a fancy budget or was better at YouTube, I’d create a video to commemorate the moving-to-two event. Picture 90s icons montaging as sweet beats played in the background. Maybe the keytar would even make an appearance. Probably a neon one. There could also be clips from Doublemint twins, VH1’s Part Deux, […]
… and Bingo was his name-o. — a farmer Every week or so, I find my way past the community Bingo Center, a place I feel, in the right circumstances, I could spend a ton of time. I’ve never been inside it, though I’m growing more and more desperate to know what exactly “community” Bingo is all about. Is it old folk beating one another out for ice cream coupons? Do all ages enter massive tournaments for cash prizes, or is it a summer program for kids – where Kidz Bop is playing in the background and winners get free swim passes? The nosey side of me can’t handle the anticipation – I blame Face Eagle and Cork Head (Granny and Mom), respectively. They gave me the busybody gene. The problem, however, is the place never seems to be open. There are no hours of operation posted, and, an even […]
In my line of work – writing – there’s not a lot of time to be spent socializing or schmoozing. There’s no coworker in the next cubicle to show funny YouTube videos to. There’s no boss that waltzes through the hall that I have to look busy for. While I’m sure there are plenty of writers who work in these types of environments, I am not one of them. If I read blogs all day instead of getting my work done, there’s no demerits or pay docks; I just have to make up the work later, a punishment in and of itself. On most days I break up the work with trips to the grocery store or bank. Maybe I’m out of packing tape and it’s on sale at the dollar store, or perhaps my grandma hasn’t seen me in a few weeks. A person can only stare at a […]
Knowing I needed another reason to love them, WordPress created this cute little chart outlining my bloggerly accomplishments. Have a gander to see what EoG brought forth in its novice year. Here’s an excerpt: 600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views. Click here to see the complete report.
This week’s post first began as a plea to elect Coach Bill Snyder for president. How he, who taught Yoda the force, who would beat Chuck Norris in Chuck Norris Stadium, would make a far better leader than the current options. He’s polite, compliments those he beats, and has the 90s Cottonbowl windbreakers to prove it. Dumbledore and Bill, besties But in the midst of my explaining, “Enough with the debates, United States. How about electing a man who really knows his way around the field?” and in my further writing, “Colin ‘CleinCat, Kleisman, Optimus Klein’ Klein can be appointed as the White House’s head boy, like in Harry Potter but without magic … so as not to distract him from any trophy winning,” I became oddly superstitious. Like the Bud Light commercial where fans torture themselves with old underwear and OCD behavior. (Cue Stevie Wonder.) During this process, my […]
About 24.7 times per week, I receive a text that reads “k” or “ok”. Nothing more, and sometimes in alternative versions (see also K, OKAY, OK, and okie dokie), these texts are an absolute waste of everyone’s time. I have to read them, senders take time to send them, and probably, some cellphone tower is pulling in extra power just so it can send thousands of confirmation texts per day. The worst part, though, is that I’m guilty too. There’s this nagging social normality that forces me to send that “I’ll be there” or “Thanks for your help” text. (I try to make it somewhat spicier than OK – on a scale where “OK” is a bell pepper and “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” is the Trinidad Moraga scorpion. And in case you’re wondering, that’s the hottest pepper in the world, as it was named this February. How hot? On the Scoville chart, which […]
In a little over a week the country will be yet again experiencing its birthday – an act that brings on dangerous explosions, outdoor eating, and record amounts of flags. On this day, United States, you will be turning 236 and quite frankly, I have no idea what to get you. What does a country need that a single, young person can provide? Would you like a nice knitted scarf that might fit a nano centimeter of your body? Perhaps a card that provides no reference to your age, but instead points out your ravishing personality? Most people, when their birthday is approaching, I simply ask what they’d like; you though, I cannot give the same treatment. Are those wearing red and white stripes enough to appease your birthday pride? Do shady and heated fireworks stands remind you of what a loving family and friend base you have? Maybe yourself, […]