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Open the Vault Already, Disney: Movies I Want in My DVD Library
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , ,

Unless you’ve been living in some type of secluded cave, you know how Disney sells its movies: on its own terms and out of a “vault.” (I also like to think that these films, original tape and all, are sitting somewhere in a literal giant vault that does not have a mouse head for a door.) Where only certain films are available at any given time. It’s a concept that limits how many DVDs you can accumulate at once (that is unless you look to outside vendors like Amazon or eBay), while hypothetically ensuring Disney will sell more films during each of their efforts. It’s a method I think is a bunch of crap. Because You can pretty much get these movies anyway, so long as you’re willing to pay. The vault was started in 1944 – which makes it more than 60 years old. Time for a change, guys. […]

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I Have a Lot of Hair
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , , ,

In my 20-odd years, I’m grown a lot of hair. Like, tens of feet worth, probably. Maybe even hundreds. It just grows quickly. It’s also very thick; ponytails offer record-level headaches – that is, until the next trim and thin. (Believe me, balding dudes, if I could share it, I absolutely would.) With winter coming up, it’s kind of like a built-in scarf. And aside from the thousands I spend per year on hairspray and conditioner, I mostly like having it around. On top of my head that is, not so much for everywhere else it ends up. Like, everywhere; my sheets, the shower, and especially the floor. Vacuuming and sweeping calls for record amounts of clean up clean up. As in a cleaning of the devices you are using to clean. My office chair gets lint rolled every few months, calling for multiple sheets of paper. Even my car […]

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Dating is Awkward: And I Only Go for Out-of-Staters, Apparently
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , , , ,

In my months as a single gal, there have been a string of out-of-staters with whom I’ve made company. Men who don’t live in the same town, let alone state, but whom I’ve fraternized with anyway. (I realize “string” makes me sound like a real tramp, but just roll with it. It’s not like they got into my Kansas or felt my Manhattans.) And I’ve made a real routine out of it. Just as soon as I know they live in a different state – apparently – I start a whole bit. First I find out their job, then how old they are, how many tattoos they have, and whether or not they are full of crap. The latter may be a silent question, but it’s one I’m asking all-the-same. Just how many across-the-country Joes have they been? Three. In four months, there have been three.* And I’m not doing […]

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Things that Happen at a Backstreet Boys Concert
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Back in the 90s, the Backstreet Boys were pretty much all the rage. They sold the most albums, they had the most hits, they were the best dancers. Out of any other boy band. And ‘Nsync didn’t even compare. Period. Which is why, 15-ish years later, when you’re given the chance to see the best boy band of all time in concert. You do it. No questions asked except, “GA or priority seating?” And when you get there, and they pop out in all their dancing glory like you took a DeLorean to get there. Which is every bit as surprising as it is impressive. If you think it’s not, it’s because you haven’t seen it. These dudes are 40 and they’re still dancing like their teenage selves. Like real pros. Other things that will take place when you attend: There is Always Someone More Excited to be There Than […]

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Emma Stone loves the Spice Girls and So Do I
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

In the late 90s, the Spice Girls were pretty much my life. That, wearing as much Tommy Hilfiger as possible, and nearly dying of mortification the day we got our samples of feminine hygiene products. (Yes, that’s what I remember most from the 5th grade.) For as refined as one’s music taste can be at that age, I thought I had it figured out. Having graduated from my over-played cassette tape of Mariah Carey, I was excited to jump into the world that was CDs. And who better to do it with than the time’s best pop stars? I was all about Hanson, even more about the Backstreet Boys (whom I will soon see in the flesh), and iffy about *NSYNC – which was basically a non-perfected version Justin Timberlake and crew. (Also, that whole “the last letter of our first names spells *NSYNC” thing made them seem SO desperate. […]

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New Posting Schedule – Two is the Magic Number
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , ,

It’s happening – Earl and Other Greys is moving to a two-per-week schedule. And it’s time to get excited. No more will you have to wait seven long days to read new content; fresh posts will be waiting every Monday and Thursday morning. Like it were a very choosy clock. Sure it means twice the writing, but with the good feedback we’ve gotten lately (a-thank you), we’re willing to take the dive.* Which brings us to our second (and only other) item on the agenda: stuff about doubles. Like tennis, sizes of shots, and fattening burgers. If I had a fancy budget or was better at YouTube, I’d create a video to commemorate the moving-to-two event. Picture 90s icons montaging as sweet beats played in the background. Maybe the keytar would even make an appearance. Probably a neon one. There could also be clips from Doublemint twins, VH1’s Part Deux, […]

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A Case of the Sickies
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , ,

Last week, for the first time ever, I went to visit my sister Hilde at her job. Where she takes care of babies. Four days later I have a nasty case of gross throat and anti-energy, which in no way can be a coincidence. (Though to be fair, Manny was sick much of last week and the babies weren’t the only stranger to cough within my 10-feet bubble.) But no matter who’s fault it is, I still feel like laying on the floor and not moving. So rather than trying to write a coherent blog, here are the things I wish were going on in my life right now:   Get in my belly, soup. If I’m going to be sleeping all day, it should probably be raining. Though this guy’s not going to give up his precipitation easily. Bring on the 90s TV. I will move when I feel […]

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