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Things I’m Doing on Spring Break
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Spring break may have taken place mid-March in Kansas (which I utilized by frequenting coffee shops that are usually ridden with students), but in the South they wait until it’s good and hot before heading on break. And since that’s the region that my current satellite office is located (in my in-laws’ living room), now is when I’m utilizing my pre-summer break. Don’t worry, responsibility police and full-time workers, I’ve been planning and working extra hours for weeks to make up for my time off. So now I can do things like: Road Trip My neck pillow already is packed. Being Touristy If I had a song about favorite things, this would be in it. Shopping Yes please. Getting Adventurous With Foods But not TOO adventurous. Treat Drinks Sbucks, McD’s, Leaf & Bean, Dunkin’, E Bros., locals — I’m coming for all of you. Chillin’ For realz.    

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My Real and Ridiculous Fear of Hotel Waffle Makers
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Real life confession ya’ll: I’m afraid to use hotel waffle makers. They, much like having the remote pointed in my direction, are incredibly unnerving. Just how hot do those things get? And why am I making waffles in a public setting, like I’m some type of short-order cook that only serves herself? No thanks, I’ll stick to my yogurt cup and weirdly moist muffin instead. But thanks for the concern, guy who wore his pajamas to the dining area. To date, I have never made a waffle that wasn’t frozen first; I am too freaked to even consider the irons. Even as an adult who is mostly logical and owns some things, I won’t touch those danger-breeding devices. While home versions do seem less terrifying, they take up serious cabinet space. Which is why I’ve never purchased one. Pancakes, in contrast, are made with a more universal dish – a fact that […]

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Vacation is Over, and I Shopped at Wal-Mart on Purpose
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Side note: EoG took an accidental snooze while I was on vacay due to an incompatible plugin, not laziness – look there are even posts! I apologize for our time apart. My time of not working is over. And now it’s time to start working again. In true manic Monday fashion, my first day back came through with an incredible start. Incredible as in unbelievable, not as in good. But before the rant about its terrible-ness, lets start with a sweeping statement about vacation being great. It was a real epic time. A trip from which to measure future trips. Now, complaining: Sunday I got a headache. It started in the morning and ached its way through the day. Off and on. From its feel I knew it was the beginning of a migraine, but was hoping some good sleep would thwart its hold. But seeing as it was almost […]

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I’m Going to the South: Here are My Concerns

In honeymoon/vacation-type fashion, Bo and I are taking a trip this summer. An entire two weeks of road traveling, eating fast quick food, and experiencing new things. Or rather, me experiencing the things that he knew for the first decades of his life. Like fresh fish and coastal living, calling shopping carts “buggies” and coozies “huggies.” And other things that don’t exist in Kansas. Alligators. The choice of whether tea comes in sweet or regular. Crawfish – not crawdads. And all the fresh seafood one could ever think of eating. That’s what’s on our agenda. But what if I come back with an accent? Or develop diabetes after a single sip of that ultra-sugared tea? Or call things all of the wrong words until no one knows what I’m talking about? My Yankee ways will confuse everyone, even when they are smart and helpful. Like washing dirty hats in the […]

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Holding Down the Fort: A Commentary on Being Home
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My boyfriend, Bo, is gone on business. And I’m trying not to be a little bitch about it. Not because I think he’s off drinking martinis or asking busty waitresses for extra olives. (Mostly because he hates olives.) But because we can’t communicate. No calls, no texting, no Skyping, or any other form of back-and-forth other than me thinking something and assuming he thought it first. (A real recipe for disaster.) Because he’s off practicing bad assery, phones aren’t allowed. His boss doesn’t care about whiney girlfriends who miss their men. It cares about results and not having to put in cell towers where they don’t belong. In the big scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal. I can’t talk to him for a few weeks. Boo freaking hoo. But here, in the status quo, the silence seems … in slow motion. I haven’t checked my phone in hours. […]

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Traveling Like a Ratchet: The Lemony Snickets of Februaries Part 2
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Last week we talked about a series of #WhiteGirlProbs. Today, we wrap them up … so we can all move on like they never even happened. Or just keep laughing about it – whichever feels better at the time.   After weighing some terrible options, Ginger Friend and I rented a car. In order to get home after missing our flight. On account of not wanting to spend a night in an airport or pay hundreds of dollars to take a different flight. Because of logic and my chronic lack of patience. We navigated the Internet and also the airport, until finding a PIMP deal. It was one of the few times I’ve proudly stated, “Yes I’m over 25” and meant it. A shuttle ride later, we landed near the tiny dream car that would save the day. We answered the company’s questions; we wanted to drop off our vehicle […]

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Traveling Like a Ratchet: The Lemony Snickets of Februaries Part 1
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In the past few weeks, I’ve made some expensive mistakes. I dropped my iPhone and shattered it into a level of non-readability. I did some accidental trick driving in the snow, and pushed my radiator support clips* into the ground, not upright and working properly. And then I missed a flight, for the first time ever. In total, the above added up to some serious mullah (I’m not counting on purpose, so don’t ask). But they’ve also required me to live like a real ratchet-ass. Like not having a car. And carrying a phone charger 24-hours a day (outlet and car versions), to juice-up my replacement phone twice per day. I walked multiple miles to a gas station to buy lotto tickets and booze, which were then stashed in my coat. In the morning time. It did wonders for my self-esteem. Really, until the third event, I was doing pretty […]

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