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Avoiding the Crowd in Holiday Season
Posted by Bethaney - Tagged , , , , ,

Crowds are the worst. Like, terrible to deal with. Add on sales or the threat of not getting the perfect gift (at the perfect price), and the mobs get even angrier. Which, in turn, makes me angrier. It’s also why, this holiday season, I’ll be doing much of my shopping online via Amazon (why yes I’ll take household goods, gifts, and non-perishable snacks all in the same delivery). Or at Orschlens, that place has everything … minus the people. It’s usually full of farmer’s who are nice and open the door for short women and when I say “full” I mean maybe there is five to nine, depending on the time of day. Anyway, I hate crowds and encourage others to do the same. This holiday season, keep yourself around the people you actually want to be around by: Saying No It’s ok to “let people down.” In fact, as long as you’re up-front […]

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Tips for Staying Un-Scorchy
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It’s hot out. Hotter than hot, actually. With the humidity levels and heat index, Mother Earth is pushing us to a literal boiling point. (Seriously, has anyone tried boiling water outside? I’m real interested.) And unless we get burned or extra dehydrated, there’s not a whole lot we can do about it. That is, without getting creative. So slather on your sunscreen, pack up a jug of seriously cold water, and try these stay-cool ideas. Netflixing Boring? No. Cool? Yes. In all senses of the word. Especially when you’re catching up on that joint Gilmore Girls/NCIS marathon you invented and wondered why no one else invented it first. Running Through the Sprinkler Who says you’re too old to enjoy this time-honored classic? Certainly not my adult neighbors who run through their own sprinkler every time they need in their garage. (By the way their yard is the exact shade of green […]

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House Hunters is Ridiculous and Should be Renamed “Money Doesn’t Matter”
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Sometimes I watch HGTV. Because it’s full of interesting shows. Almost as good as Investigation Discovery, but cheerier. Really, if I had actual cable and not Netflix/Chromecast, I’d watch it most days, probably. It’s just that enjoyable. Especially when Nicole Curtis is on. But when she’s not, my go-to replacement is House Hunters. On account of it combining two of my favorite hobbies: seeing the insides of houses and judging. A grand time for all. If you’ve never seen the show, let me explain how the premise works. A person or couple is looking to move. They work with a realtor, tell them what they want (and in what price range), and then they look at three houses. At the end of the show they choose one of them – usually – and claim it for their very own. Now, I’m assuming there’s way more that goes into this. Maybe […]

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Anything Can Happen Week, But Only Some Things Did
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Most days, I am boring. I work, I work out. Finish chores, make lists of other things that need checked off. I eat, and also sleep, and play with my cat. His litter box gets cleaned in the evenings. Right before I shower and settle into my already-made bed. Of course, fun is had. But in a timely manner – once responsibilities have been taken care of. Bills paid. But last week, it was one for the books. Crazy shiz was happening every day. I got record amounts of work done. Fun approached haphazardly and without warning. Sickness struck even when there was plenty to be done, which I powered through. Wednesday events happened on a Tuesday, Friday was a whirlwind. Normal Tuesday events didn’t take place at all. It was like I was some sort of college heathen who never knows what day it was. A whopper of February […]

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This is My (Glorious) New Calendar
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Some days email is the worst thing to happen to me. Like on this very day that I’m writing this post – where people just cannot get enough of me. And are looking for every excuse in the world to get one of my not-so-incredible responses – even if it’s just business necessary; actually, almost all of them are. Other days, electronic correspondence is the best thing – or rather second-best thing – that’s happened in weeks. Like when JoAnn sent me a coupon code for a free customizable calendar. Yep, a free online-made calendar from a craft-supply store. No idea why, but sometimes it’s best not to ask questions when great things come along, I’ve decided. (BTW, JoAnn, thanks for the coupon – I’ll be sure to buy an extra skein of yarn (or 12) the next time I walk in. Which will probably be about 10 minutes after […]

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People Who Throw The Most Shade
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Some days, people hate me. And almost every day, I hate them back. From the drivers who think speed limits are a number your car should never ever reach, to every mom who has ever bumped me out of her way with a stroller (nope, don’t care if you have a kid, get that stroller off my shins, please), here are the people who throw the most shade. And why I hate them for it. Siri As in the voice of the iPhone. Siri has never really done me any good and it’s time I called her out on it. In three years she’s misunderstood me, gave directions in wrong states, and told me places I’ve been multiple times didn’t even exist. Seriously, why does this “perk” even exist? It’s like the Microsoft of iPhone functions. (That nerd joke makes sense, right?) Most recently, after I dropped her in the […]

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My Apartment is Lesbian Free … “Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That”
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As an avid lover of Friends, I never thought much about the whole adult roommate situation. Not only was it financially responsible, it provided ample opportunities for pajama parties or locking one another in an oversized box. Also, the show told me it was smart to be BFFs with your across-the-hall neighbors. Because if you are only kind of friends, it gets awkward since you aren’t able to lie about plans. But if you are best friends, you don’t mind if they drink all your coffee and raid your closet. IRL, however, the practice is far sketchier; life has not turned out to be the sitcom I’d imagined. Since I’ve moved in, every resident on the floor has cleared out, leaving zero opportunities for across-the-hall besties. Only one friend has wedding-dressed-up to drink on the couch, and instead of being called “financially responsible,” I’m called a “closet lesbian.” On account of […]

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